11When Love Strengthened Me

The biggest change in my life came in two parts. First, I met Rich. Second, we began to.                                                                              meditate.

When I met Rich, I didn’t realize how much of my life had been shaped by quiet fear — fear of not being enough, fear of being alone, fear of stepping too far beyond what felt safe.

Rich saw something in me that I did not fully see in myself.

He was convinced of my strength. Convinced of my greatness. Not in a loud or exaggerated way, but in a steady, grounded way. He believed I could spread my wings. He believed I could do the things I had always wanted to do but had held myself back from because of fear.

And slowly, because he believed, I began to believe in myself.

He was intelligent, talented, and a natural leader. I trusted him deeply. I couldn’t imagine him being wrong, and that trust gave me the courage to step into places I had avoided.

He encouraged me to ask the big questions — not to silence them, but to explore them in the light.

He encouraged me to travel to Europe on my own, a trip I had long wanted to take but never did because I didn’t have someone to go with. The younger version of me would have been terrified. But I went — and I had a wonderful time.

He encouraged me to learn Transcendental Meditation and to practice regularly. We learned together. We practiced together. We would sit in stillness side by side.

And something fundamental in me began to change.

His love relieved many of my fears — fears about who I was, what I could do, whether I was capable, whether I was enough. His love did not feel fragile. It did not feel like it would disappear if I made a mistake.

It felt steady.

For the first time, love did not feel like something I had to chase or cry for.

It felt like something that strengthened me.

He also opened a door I had kept closed. He encouraged me to read fiction. I had avoided it for years, thinking it was indulgent or unnecessary. But through his recommendations, I began to read. Through those stories, I allowed myself to feel warmth, heartache, and tenderness.

I let myself soften.

Looking back now, I can see something clearly.

As a small child, I believed love was what rescued me from the dark.

With Rich, love did something different.

It did not just rescue me.

It helped me discover the strength that had been inside me all along.

And through meditation, something even deeper began to unfold.

Because as powerful as his love was, the stillness we touched in meditation was something no one could give me — and no one could take away.

And in that stillness, I began to understand:

Love from others can open the door…

but what I was searching for

was already inside.

Quiet.

Steady.

Unmoving.

Waiting for me

to finally sit still enough

to feel it.