36. Uni Boyfriends Tommy

 

Tommy

My other significant boyfriend at Georgia was Tommy.

I met him through my dorm friend Sally, who was pinned to the president of Tommy’s fraternity. Through her, our paths crossed, and from the beginning I liked him.

Tommy was a gymnast and a cheerleader, full of energy and confidence. Like Buster, he also worked part-time while attending school, holding a job at a men's clothing store in Athens.

He was charming, handsome, had sexy dark eyes, and easy to talk to.

Most importantly, he was fun.

After the Sweetheart Dance, we began dating more, and before long I found myself looking forward to every opportunity to spend time with him.

When summer arrived, I enrolled in summer school partly because I wanted to continue seeing Tommy and partly because I knew staying in Athens would be much more fun than going home.

Summer School

I loved summer school.

Classes occupied only the mornings, leaving the afternoons and evenings free.

Afternoons were often spent with friends and classmates, exploring, creek stomping, and finding adventures wherever we could. Evenings usually belonged to Tommy.

One of the traditions I remember most were the fraternity "woodsies."

A secluded spot in the woods would be chosen, a bonfire built, and a keg brought along. As darkness fell, couples would spread out among the trees, wrapped in blankets and talking quietly beneath the stars.

It felt wonderfully romantic.

Over the summer, I developed a serious crush on Tommy and fully expected our relationship to continue when school resumed in the fall.

He wrote to me while I was home during the break, so I had no reason to think otherwise.

Fall 1965

When I returned to Georgia in the fall, I didn't hear from Tommy.

Then I discovered that Sally—the very friend who had introduced us—had contacted Tommy and begun dating him herself. Her own boyfriend had graduated, moved away, and ended their relationship.

It was disappointing, but college romances often shifted in unexpected directions.

Soon afterward, Buster and I reconnected and dated exclusively until his graduation and departure for the Air Force in Spring 1966.

Spring 1966

Tommy and I eventually found our way back into each other's lives after Buster left.

By then, Sally was no longer part of the picture.

This time, however, our relationship was different.

We were mostly friends. 

Good friends.

We spent a great deal of time talking, sharing ideas, discussing our plans for the future, and enjoying each other's company.

There was always laughter.

One memory still makes me smile.

For a biology class, I had to dissect a white rat. Somehow, I ended up placing the rat's skin in Tommy's car as a practical joke. About a week later, I discovered it had mysteriously reappeared in my own car.

The game was on.

That summer was filled with those kinds of playful moments.

Then life carried us in different directions.

I left for Augusta that fall, and Tommy entered the Marines.

We lost touch.

Music and Laughter

Some memories of Tommy are tied forever to music.

Even now, whenever I hear the The Beach Boys, I immediately think of him.

The first time we slow danced together, the song playing was Don't Worry Baby. It became one of my favorite songs and still brings back memories of those carefree college days.

There was something magical about slow dancing when you were young and in love. The music seemed to say all the things you didn't quite know how to express yourself.

Tommy also introduced me to The Warmth of the Sun, another Beach Boys song that became one of my favorites.

Years later, those songs still carry me back to Athens—to dances, summer evenings, and the excitement of being young with the future stretched out endlessly before us.

Tommy and I shared plenty of laughter as well.

I loved telling jokes and making people laugh.

For a couple of years, my favorite was the infamous "Foo Bird" joke. Whenever Tommy and I got together with his friends, there was a good chance I would tell it.

I thought it was hilarious.

Whether everyone else did is another question.

But Tommy always laughed.

Looking back, I realize that some of the most precious memories are not the dramatic ones. They are the simple moments—the songs playing on a dance floor, the private jokes, the evenings spent with friends, and the laughter that comes so easily when you're young.

Those memories remain long after the details of dates and schedules have faded away.

Poem

Sometimes a song becomes a time machine.

A few familiar notes,

a forgotten melody,

and suddenly the years disappear.

There is Tommy,

the dance floor,

the warmth of a summer evening,

and a heart that believed

life would always be this full of possibility.

The music ends,

the years pass,

but certain songs continue playing

somewhere in memory,

forever young,

forever sweet.

Spring 1968

About a year and a half after I left Athens, i was in Augusta planning my wedding to Russell,and I wrote Tommy a letter telling him about getting married.

He eventually replied after returning from Vietnam.

His letter was heartfelt and memorable.

He urged me not to rush into marriage. He reminded me how much I loved adventure and travel and encouraged me to see the world and pursue my dreams before settling down.

Unfortunately, his letter arrived after Russell and I were already married.

The timing, as they say, was not ideal.

Rescue

Several years later, when my marriage was beginning to unravel, I contacted Tommy again.

By then, his own life had taken remarkable turns.

After serving in the Marines, he was going to dental school and later went to medical school. He is now an Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon.

Our paths crossed one more time but that is a story for another chapter.

Similarities

What strikes me now is how many similarities existed between Tommy and Buster.

Both became military aviators.

Both served two tours in Vietnam.

Buster flew the F-105 Thunderchief, while Tommy flew helicopters, including the Cobra gunship.

At the time, I could never have imagined the risks they would face or the experiences they would carry for the rest of their lives.

To me, they were simply two important young men who had been part of my journey.

Looking back, I see them differently.

Not just as boyfriends, but as fellow travelers moving through a turbulent and extraordinary period in history.

Poem

Some people enter our lives

for a season.

Others leave footprints

that remain long after they are gone.

Tommy was laughter,

friendship,

summer evenings,

and conversations about the future.

We followed different roads,

yet somehow our paths

continued to cross

through the years.

Life is curious that way.

The people we think we've left behind

sometimes reappear,

carrying memories of who we were

when the world was still opening before us.